Jeffrey Morgenthaler

I considered naming this article “How To Take an Order Behind the Bar”, since there seems to be a problem with bartenders and servers not fully understanding the vocabulary used in their workplace. I was reminded of this while reading this thread on the StraightBourbon.com forums some time ago. Yes, there seems to be some confusion about the terms “neat”, “up” (or “straight up”) and “with a twist”, and my goal is to try to help straighten this mess out.

Neat

The first - and simplest - term we’re going to examine is “neat“. “Neat” - as applied to drinks served in bars - refers to a shot of liquor poured directly from the bottle and into a glass. There is no chilling involved with a “neat” drink. There is never an additional ingredient in a drink served “neat”. You can not have a Screwdriver served “neat”. That’s not how we use the word.

Up

If you walk into a bar and order a Dry Martini, “neat”, you might be served a tepid shot of Martini and Rossi Dry Vermouth in a room-temperature glass. That’s how the term “neat” is used. Although you know how much I love vermouth, nothing about that order sounds appetizing. What you were probably looking for was a Dry Martini, served “up. “Up” implies that there was some preparation involved, and that there is no ice in the final product. You can have a Manhattan on the rocks, or I can give it to you “up”.

Straight Up

Where the real confusion lies is with the term “straight up”. Although I don’t know where the choaos began, these days there is a bit of conversation required when that phrase is used.

Let’s say you order a Wild Turkey, “straight up”. Your bartender should assume you mean that you want your bourbon “neat”, and serve it as so. However, if you were looking for a chilled shot of whiskey in a cocktail glass, you probably should have dropped the “straight” and asked for your drink “up”. And if, as a bartender, you’ve received an order for a Ketel One “straight up”, you should probably check with your customer to make sure they’re looking for chilled vodka and vermouth, and not a glass of warm vodka.

Twist

The third term that causes some confusion on both sides of the bar is the word “twist”. I’ve ordered a gin martini with a twist (my preferred garnish) and received a big wedge of lemon on the side of the glass. I’ve taken an order for a gin and tonic with a twist, and had the drink sent back because I garnished with a thin strip of citrus peel. A delicate blend of gin and vermouth, the Martini is ruined by a big squeeze of lemon juice. Conversely, the bold flavors of a gin and tonic need more than a light spritzing of lemon or lime oils on the surface of the drink.

To recap:

Neat: Right out of the bottle.
Up: Chilled, and served in a cocktail glass.
Straight Up: Usually means “neat”, but check first.
Twist: A thin strip of citrus peel. Default is lemon.

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The Kentucky Derby is this Saturday, and many of those watching this historic event will be doing so with mint juleps in hand. Sounds like the perfect time to jot down a couple of notes about this classic American cocktail.

The mint julep is another of those drinks shrouded in mystery, so in an effort to clear up some of the confusion (and possibly contribute to it) I’m going to offer up some of my ideas about what makes a spectacular drink, based on my knowledge and my palate. Feel free to take or leave the following advice as you will.

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I’ve you’ve never made - or enjoyed - a mint julep before, be sure to check out this post, with lots of information from myself, and videos from the real experts.

In the bottom of a 10-12 oz glass (or a silver julep cup, if you’ve got one on hand) gently muddle together:

12 mint leaves
¼-½ oz simple syrup

Add to this mixture:

2 oz bourbon

Stir to combine ingredients, and fill glass with finely crushed ice. Garnish with the prettiest mint sprig you have, and serve.

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As far as I’m concerned, springtime is Dark and Stormy season. As the rain pummels the ground here in the Pacific Northwest, a little window of blue sky nestled between two dark clouds in the neighboring distance makes me wish I were watching the rain fall from across a dark ocean, my little Caribbean fishing boat safe and sound under that warm patch of sunlight.

I’d fill a tall glass with ice and a generous dose of Gosling’s Black Seal rum from Bermuda, then reach into a wooden crate and withdraw a chilly little bottle of homemade ginger beer. I’d sip the cloudy mixture of liquid sunshine and sweet, dark nectar while I mindlessly squeezed a fresh lime into the glass. Feet: Up.

The problem with living in Oregon when this mood strikes is the absence of little wooden shacks that sell cases of fresh ginger beer stacked on back porches. But with some readily-available ingredients, a recipe I’ve been revising for several years - and a few free minutes - I can easily transport myself to that little fishing boat on the sea.

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An authentic Dark and Stormy made with Gosling’s rum and homemade ginger beer is the ideal prelude to summer, when the spring months are arriving like lions and one’s mind turns to thoughts of lambs.

The national drink of Bermuda, a true Dark and Stormy is never made with Jamaican ginger brew or weak ginger ale. Only the real stuff made in small batches will do, so try this recipe at home or seek out a case of Barritt’s or Blenheim if you can.

In a collins glass filled with ice, add:

2 oz Gosling’s Black Seal rum
5 oz ginger beer

Garnish with lime and serve immediately.

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First of all, my apologies to everyone who asked, “Do you hate my eyes?” this month after having to see my name in print a whopping three times. But for those of you who missed even one, here’s a wrap-up. And no, I don’t hate your eyes.

First up, I was quoted in a Wired piece about laptop etiquette in bars. Wired is one of my favorite magazines, so my inner nerd is beaming with pride that I was asked to contribute my thoughts. I also blushed every time one of my mouth-breathing Trekkie friends called or emailed to congratulate me. It’s good to be accepted by one’s peers.

Next, Playboy Magazine selected the Bourbon Renewal as their Drink of The Month for May. As it’s every heterosexual man’s dream to be flown down to the Playboy Mansion to make drinks for Hef and his fabulous friends, I feel that I’m at least one step closer to getting that invite… right? Also, I was able to justify a purchase of this fine publication by explaining, “I’m just reading it for the article about me.”

And finally, the Food and Wine Cocktails 2008 has arrived on bookshelves everywhere, and they’ve chosen the Batida Rosa to help represent cachaça. I’m proud to be presented alongside my friends Jimmy Patrick, Charlie Hodge at Clyde Common, Jamie Boudreau, Kevin Ludwig, Daniel and Ted at the Teardrop Lounge, and Greg at Andina Restaurant in Portland.

Stay tuned for more fun, including a great tutorial on making one of my favorite cocktail mixers at home. It’s so easy, you’ll be cleaning up exploding glass bottles in no time!

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I own a small library of books on the subject of bartending. Some of these books are geared toward the professional bartender, while others are written for the home mixologist. But regardless of the intended audience, almost every book I own heartily recommends that we use paring knives for cutting fruits and garnishes. The Art of the Bar, The Joy of Mixology, The Craft of the Cocktail, Larousse Cocktails, The Bartender’s Black Book, they all say the same thing: that a 4-inch paring knife is the right tool for the job.

But for my money (and the safety of my hands), there’s no better knife than a nine-inch, serrated, offset-handled sandwich sword.

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It’s Mixology Monday time around here again, and this month we’re hosted by the lovely Anna at Morsels and Musings. Anna has chosen the theme of “Fruit Liqueurs” for this month’s edition.

Just to warn you before you invest too much personal (or work, heh) time, there are no fruit liqueurs used anywhere in this post.

There is a liqueur made from flowers, which eventually turn into berries. But flowers aren’t a fruit. There is wine, which I guess comes from fruit. But I boil the booze out of it and add a bunch of sugar, so it’s not really a liqueur, it’s a fruit syrup. Sorta.

But I really, really wanted to share this drink with you, because it tastes incredible and it embodies the sort of building-layers-of-flavor thing I’ve been working on lately.

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