If there’s one thing I hate about living in the Pacific Northwest, it’s the stretch of time from late October until late June, when the sun makes only the most occasional of appearances. I typically pack on an extra 10-15 pounds during those rainy months, party due to over-consumption of wintertime drinks like dark beer, egg nog, hot-buttered-anything and wassail. I wanted a drink for the winter that I could add to my cocktail menu that was more like the light, café-style cocktails I typically gravitate to during the summer.
Jerry Thomas prescribed a drink called “sangaree” that, to the best of our knowledge was a colonial adaptation of the Spanish “sangria”. The recipe, which calls for anywhere from 1½ to 4 ounces of port, Madeira, gin or brandy dolled up with sugar and dusted with nutmeg in a glass sounded less than exciting to me, but the challenge of updating this old chestnut sounded like a fun January task.
We began with ruby and tawny ports but found both way too sweet. White port got us much closer to our target, but it wasn’t until a healthy dose of dry vermouth was applied that we knew we were on to something. To provide additional depth and hint at the drink’s colonial origins we sweetened with a maple-nutmeg syrup and finished the whole thing off with a teaspoon of allspice liqueur and orange oil.
The Dry Vermouth Sangaree
3 oz dry vermouth
½ oz maple-nutmeg syrup*
1 tsp St. Elizabeth Allspice Dram
1 large strip orange peel
Shake everything – yes, even the orange peel – with ice until well-chilled and strain into a cold cocktail glass. Garnish with a fresh strip of orange peel.
*To make maple-nutmeg syrup, combine 8 ounces each of Grade B maple syrup and water, and 1 tbsp freshly-grated nutmeg. Simmer, covered, for 20 minutes. Let cool, strain out solids, bottle and chill.
My problem with homemade tonic water has always been a flavor profile that was too esoteric for the general audience. This recipe takes some of the positive qualities people have come to understand from commercial tonic water and updated them with fresh ingredients.
One question I'm often asked is "Do you have any drink-related book recommendations?" Well, funny you should ask, I've compiled a list of the ten books every professional bartender or home mixologist should own. I keep every one of these close at hand and have read most of them several times. I suggest you do the same.
The problem with living in Oregon is the absence of little wooden shacks by the sea that sell cases of fresh ginger beer stacked on back porches. But with some readily-available ingredients, a recipe I've been revising for several years - and a few free minutes - I can easily transport myself to a little fishing boat on the ocean as I sip a Dark and Stormy made with fresh, house-made ginger beer.
It's always mojito season somewhere, so this advice is timely in your area about half the year. Wether you're making them or simply enjoying them, this advice will help you look like a pro in no time at all.
The flavors of the Richmond Gimlet are imbued with sunshine. Fresh mint mingling with the herbaceousness of gin and the tartness of lime have made this drink a Eugene classic for many years now.
You'll get a lot of snarky advice on this site about how to make a proper drink, but if you ever need to know what not to do, this is the video for you.
Not to be confused with the Spanish wine-and-fruit-based alcoholic beverage sangria, sangrita (meaning "little blood") is a traditional accompaniment to a tequila served completo; a non-alcoholic sipper that cleanses the palate between fiery doses of agave.
The world of booze can be mystifying to people that don't work in bars or around alcohol all the time. I hear a lot of assumptions about the industry I'm in that are - much like 90% of what you hear in bars - completely false. Here are a few you've probably heard yourself.
The debate rages on: Should we try to look cool and crack open the Boston shaker or be tidy professionals and use the Hawthorne strainer the way God intended? Be sure to leave your two cents in the comments section.
The traditional garnish for a Pisco Sour is a couple of drops of bitters in the foam, but I've never been particularly impressed with the way these few paltry drops of bitters sat in their little egg-white mattress and didn't play along with the rest of the drink. I envisioned a Pisco Sour with a uniformly-distributed bitters-scorched foam: slightly crisp as the fire burnt the sugars, and slightly warm as the foam insulated the rest of the frosty cocktail from the heat. A pisco creme brulée in a glass!
I get so many visitors looking for tips on how to write a bartending resume that I thought I should finally post a tutorial on how to write your own. Click the headline to read more.
I always love showing up to a party with a gallon jug of pre-mixed margaritas, so I've decided to share my recipe. This margarita recipe is the perfect blend of strong, sweet, and sour. But be warned: this recipe packs a serious punch.
There isn't much I can say about this video that hasn't been said already. If you've read anything I've written about cocktails, you'll understand why this video symbolizes everything wrong with the state of bartending in America today. Watch and learn, but be warned: this one isn't for the feint of heart.
About Me
My name is Jeff Morgenthaler and I'm the head bartender at Clyde Common in Portland, Oregon.
I've been tending bar since 1996 and writing about it since 2004. Mixing drinks has become something of a passion for me in recent years, and I strive to elevate the experience of having a drink from something mundane to something more culinary.
The writing I do here is intended as a work in progress. My recipes are like my opinions: they are constantly being revised and refined as I work them through my mind and my fingers. Comments and participation are encouraged, so please don't feel the need to tread lightly here.
I found this video on the DrinkBoy forum this weekend, posted sometime last year. Those of you who have been reading for a while will know that I always love a good instructional video, as I’ve remarked upon time and again.
To recap, here’s the recipe:
1. Chill an 8-ounce cocktail glass.
2. Pick your nose, and wipe the resulting findings on the back of your hand.
3. In a mixing glass, add one ounce of Bacardi rum.
Note: rum is a liquor that comes in many different colors.
4. Add two ounces of sweet-and-sour mix.
5. Wipe nose on back of hand for four full seconds.
6. Shake drink gently.
7. Talk about difference between fresh lime juice and sour mix while drink melts in shaker.
Note: fresh limes are no longer used.
8. Strain drink into chilled glass.
9. Dump any excess in sink.
10. Enjoy!
Comments
95 Responses to “How to Make a Daiquiri – The American Bartending School Way”
14 Feb 2008 at 6:32 am 1. lilu
gross. you think they would at least edit that out.
That is so awesome! I’m quite surprised to find that limes are no longer used. I’ll be sure to let my friends know so they can get them out of their bars and get some sweet and sour on the guns. Don’t want anybody looking like they’re behind the times.
14 Feb 2008 at 10:07 am 3. Scortch
Absolutely revolting in so many ways. Just about as vulgar as it gets. I’ve seen some of these sorts of videos elsewhere and always marveled at the lack of skills in so many of them but this is too, too much. And that this guys actually “trains” “bartenders”…
Y’know, there’s a recent post on drinkboston.com concerning bartenders and the respect they deserve and often do not get. It’s guys like the one in the video and the “Hey, pal, I went ta skool for this!” lunkheads their programs expectorate that probably have more to do with the low regard given so many men behind the stick.
I always forget to get the “secret ingredient” out of my nose and make sure it’s in the drink. I could learn a lot at the American Bartending School. That is the worst drink I have ever seen.
I think you should reformulate the Richmond Gimlet, remove the mint and the real juice. And don’t forget the “secret ingredient!”
Oh. My. God. I thought you were kidding about the nose. Top off with a spritz of snot. Might make it taste better, actually.
14 Feb 2008 at 11:27 am 8. Ben
There’s nothing so refreshing as a flourescent yellow daiquiri…
14 Feb 2008 at 11:36 am 9. Dane
Wacthing this really encouraged me to enroll in American Bartending School; luckily, they have 5 locations, so I should be able to find one nearby. Per their website:
1) “Bartending is easy” (thank God)
2) “Student learn about the liquors they work with” (Hence, the “School” part of their name)
3) And, “Over 50% of our graduates don’t drink” (No shit? After watching me make your drink like this, are you SURE you don’t want to try it???)
I believe this is precisely the way Hemmingway liked his daiquiris.
14 Feb 2008 at 10:17 pm 15. Lance J. Mayhew
OMG, I’m dying right now. I actually think that technically, he didn’t make a daiquiri, but a rum sour since it was commercial s&s and no sugar. Maybe the choice of a stemmed glass made the difference though. You should check and see if ABS has a rum sour class online. Of course, I’m not a bartending school grad so I’m not positive. And who knew rum came in different colors?
This video is already a classic! :-)
We keep watching it again and again since it came up somewhere! Thanks for finally listing up the ingredients, Jeffrey!
Maybe you should add, that one has to let the drink water down in the shaker for a couple of minutes (after “shaking”) before you strain it into the glass.
And the shaking: that must be a new variant of the “Tiger Hard Shake” from Japan.
Ridiculous that this guy teaches bartenders! Not only that he doesn’t have a bit of job related knowledge (which exceeds the point of artificial sweet and sour and cost reduction), he even obviously hasn’t got an idea of hygiene.
I mean, where the hell is the problem to wash the hands after “touching” his nose?
This is guy is a disgrace for every single bartender!
16 Feb 2008 at 10:28 am 20. Dan
This still isn’t as bad as the “Woodford Reserve Mint Julep”
16 Feb 2008 at 12:02 pm 21. dshenaut
I like the perfect measure that comes from using a jigger. It makes all the difference in balancing the complex artificial flavors.
The first time I saw one of this guys videos it angered me. What an embaressement to Bartenders everywhere. Now I’m of the mindset that if I need a good laugh, I just watch one of his {What Not To Do Videos}.
The sad part is the unsuspecting sucker that thinks is the correct way to be a Bartender.
Bruce Tomlinson
18 Feb 2008 at 1:21 am 24. Slap
Good Lord.
And I thought it was bad when he slaughtered the pronunciation of the word “botanicals” when describing sweet vermouth in the their video on the Manhattan.
Breathtakingly awful.
18 Feb 2008 at 8:27 am 25. ND
This drink should be christened “the Green Goblin” in this guy’s honour… I’m curious, though: what do bartenders do with the extra bits of cocktails left behind in the shaker? Drink them? Chuck them into some kind of “fishbowl”? (I suppose most folks would say that they measure carefully enough not to have issues like this, but I’m sure that wouldn’t always work?).
Hah, I remember seeing this on YouTube and practically bursting a vessel in the comments section. This guy is completely clueless (and a mite defensive and self-righteous about it, if his posts on the Webtender.com forums are any indication). Thanks for featuring it.
This is so hilarious that I feel there is a market for making videos of such badly produced drinks. It would be so horribly easy.
Everyone’s comments are quite a joy as well.
21 Feb 2008 at 10:00 am 30. ms.sc
are you sure this isn’t a joke? It just seems like such a joke. I am so glad I didn’t go to bartending school. I bet my patrons are too since I never learned the rub nose and eye vigorously while making drink method.
is not a joke we also discover this videos two months before and i break into a laugh.
oooo my Good and if you see the Lynchburg lemonade you gonna death from laugh.
and there is barlady in some recipes……..
26 Feb 2008 at 1:02 am 33. Michaelg
“Now, earlier in the video, you saw me wipe my nose briefly with my finger. Some of you might have thought that was sort of gross. Well, just to make sure that everyone is disgusted, I’m going to do it again, only longer.
…But don’t worry, that lemon-lime stuff, combined with the alcohol in your drink, will kill any of my germs…
…What am I saying? Just look at me! A bartender. For 20 years, and in some places I have long ago chosen to forget. I have germs even that even that cocktail mix won’t be able to kill…But still folks, take my word for it, this stuff will take care of the everyday common cold. And another great thing about compared to real limes — the shelf life is over twelve years!”
27 Feb 2008 at 12:30 pm 34. arthur
holy mother of satan help me….
i didnt know limes were extinct,i guess the taste of snot will even out the flavour profile of the sour mix.
this video is gold
where do i sign up for the school?hemmingway is digging himself out of his grave to slap the be jesus outta this school.
OK, a little perspective, here. This fellow is actually very cutting edge. It’s the new performance art/culinary genre of bartending. The performance: He is depicting the Human Condition, the disillusionment and ennui of urban life in a cocktail school. Feel the drama. Think Martha Graham. The culinary: Gum arabic is hard to get. He mixes his OWN gomme syrup from simple corn syrup – and emulsifies the syrup with his, ah, wipings. He then deftly transmuted this to sour mix by adding the FINEST powdered limes.
The envelope please.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this years snOtSCAR goes to the American Bartending School because of the special ingredient they put in their daiquiri’s.
03 Mar 2008 at 5:12 am 41. blair frodelius
Instead of sweet & sour mix, I use a blend of flat Mountain Dew (left over from parties) and Sweet-Tarts. I do however, keep a box of tissues handy when filming my instructional videos.
There are 80, count ‘em – 80 – more videos by this cat on YouTube.
How our friend Jack is qualified to train anyone in anything is beyond me, but listening to him slaughter the word “botanicals” when speaking about vermouth should be a big warning sign:
05 Mar 2008 at 2:20 am 45. Chris
Oh my f***ing god! Watch when he makes the worst old fashioned i’ve ever seen someone make.
That’s is just awesome.
I can’t believe that people like him actually are allowed to “teach” other people.
Nobody fisks a bartending video like you do. Of course nobody else fisks them at all, that I know of. Still, why should they bother, when you do it so damn well? Remind me not to get on your bad side!
Incidentally, I think this video would make a damn fine hiring aid. Show it to a prospective bartender, and if he or she doesn’t laugh their contemptuous ass off, they don’t make the cut….
“Bonacals”??? Is he trying to say barnacles instead of botanicals??? Yeah, I’ll take my Rob Roy attached to a freakin’ ship, thanks.
06 Mar 2008 at 7:21 am 49. Jeff Cooley
Had way too much time on my hands this morning so I’ve been watching this guy’s videos. My favorite so far is the Orgasm. I really just wanted to hear him have to say the drink name for a laugh, then it just got so much better. Following the link doesn’t take you right to the video (I couldn’t get a direct link) but you just have to scroll down to the orgasm video.
Trust me, it’s worth it. He actually drops the Kahlua, knocking over some glass-ware in the process, and becomes visibly frustrated to the point he has to stop the video (though he doesn’t edit out the accident, I guess he doesn’t have i-movie). After he regains his composure he fails horribly trying to make the already disgusting layered shot and explains that his completely un-layered creation will separate on its own after a minute or so. Now, I hate the whole idea of shooters and I especially hate uber sweet layered shooters (as a rule I generally refuse to make them for people) but if I absolutely had to, and owned a bar school (god forbid), and posted videos of myself making drinks on the internet, I think I would be sure to make a beautiful Orgasm.
06 Mar 2008 at 11:42 am 50. Scott
Check out the recipe for a Brandy Alexander. Did you know you can use half and half or cream, whatever you happen to have on hand.. Also, it has “cream dee coco,” not creme de cacao in it, which comes in both light and dark, which can look like water. And you have to love the techno music in the background for such a classic drink.
06 Mar 2008 at 12:58 pm 51. blair frodelius
These videos are turning into the “Be Kind, Rewind” remakes of mixology.
16 Mar 2008 at 12:28 am 52. Josh M.
At least he knows what Irish Cream is, Jeff…”It’s Irish, it’s creamy, it has an alcoholic, uh, content…”
That’s the most realistic representation of what I think bartending school is like that I’ve ever seen.
Let this be a lesson to all perspective bartenders that are thinking of bartending school or the unfortunate many that have gone and lead off your introduction to a bar manager with “I’m a licensed mixologist”
This video perfectly exemplifies the kind of training you’ll receive. Not to mention, there is more to bartending then drink knowledge.
That guy’s videos are just too revolting for words.
Now, for good cocktail-making videos, they just posted a handy-dandy compendium of Chris McMillian’s 20 videos on “New Orleans’ Best Cocktails” over at the Times-Picayune.
Ughhhhhh!!!!!! And this guy is supposed to be so good that he is teaching? Remember, please, that we are professionals! We keep our hands and nails clean & neat (no biting your fingernails!), and away from our noses, faces, ears and hair.
People often ask me if I went to school to be a bartender. I tell them know, in fact I got my first job as a bartender with no front of the house restaurant experience.
I was lucky, but the bar manager knew me as someone who was honest, had a good personality, and knew how to take care of customers. The drinks, she said, are the easy part.
Not to imply that a bartender can get by without drink knowledge, but a person can’t be “taught” honesty or personality.
A long response I know, but I always dissuade people from going to bartender school.
28 May 2008 at 10:00 pm 62. Hex
I agree this is revolting, but how else would someone learn? I am interested in bar tending and have thought about these schools a couple of times. Glad I didn’t go now.
You’re at a good place to start, now visit my friends in the links section above and to the right. I learn from the books in my recommendations list and the websites in my blogroll every day.
Good luck!
11 Jun 2008 at 12:28 am 64. Bradley Dawson
I am actually offended that this guy didn’t have the decency to mention me when I taught him exactly how to make a correct daiquiri.
And, he forgot the whip cream.
14 Jun 2008 at 9:00 pm 65. Marcus
Oh boy! Jeff Cooley’s video link HAS to be a dead giveaway. It’s obviously all an inside joke! So funny to watch him as he messes up! Haha!
I just wanna die after watching this…I feel really bad for any of his students who have had to learn this…he should be banned from bartending for at least 10 years. That might give him some time to think about what he has done.
09 Sep 2008 at 8:31 pm 69. Sambo
A perfect Scotch Manhattan garnished with an olive??? Braaaaaaaaaaaap!!!
..and this is precisely why I opted NOT to go to bartending school!
Experience is a much better teacher than BoogerMan will ever be.
Perhaps real lime juice would overpower the subtle notes of SNOT in the beverage….
02 Mar 2009 at 2:28 pm 74. Christy
Ewww.
Perfect bartender for an early John Waters movie.
A year after your post & still holds quite a punch!
04 Mar 2009 at 7:46 pm 75. ellie
If I had seen that man making that drink I would have run out of the place. Who wipes their nose repeatedly while making drink? Honestly. I feel as though this has to be a joke. And someone else deemed this video acceptable enough to post it on the internet….
Anytime I feel a little down I come to this page. “The Green Goblin” and “wipings” comments perk me up every time.
25 Mar 2009 at 1:42 pm 78. Tony
I went to a bartending school, not ABS, and had a pretty good instructor. I do wish that the instruction went further into using fresh juice, simple syrups, bitters and creating drinks…like what I’m doing now.
Thanks to Jeffery (and a few others)for the websites that are continuing my “education”.
19 Apr 2009 at 5:46 pm 79. Churba
I went to bar school, however, I went to a proper trade college for it – COTAH(College of Tourism and Hospitality) in Brisbane, Australia. They’re actually accredited – which is hard to do back home – and our teacher was hard, and sometimes a bit of a bastard, but he was fair, and it was for our benefit – like a drill instructor with a cocktail shaker.
Not only did he drill into us good technique(to this day I still wince when someone scoops ice with a glass) but he also gave us a large amount of knowledge about cocktail creation, tastes, flavors and such.
He never let us put a cocktail on the bar that we had not tasted ourselves – his theory went that if you’re not willing to taste it, and don’t have a medical reason not to do so, you shouldn’t be serving it to a customer. He also taught us there are two industries where you can never betray your client – Medicine and bartending.
I recall I kept over-using bitters in my cocktails, and he asked me “Do you know your ingredient?” and I said, somewhat insolently(I felt like he was treating me as if I was stupid) “Of course, It’s bitters.” and he said “Descibe the taste to me, then. Take a shot of it.” So I did, and rapidly learned that I didn’t really know my ingredient as well as I thought i did, and that drinking neat bitters is really not something I want to do on a regular basis.
25 Apr 2009 at 4:54 am 80. Chris
Most bartending “schools” are cookie-cutter mills that turn out “bartenders” the way Basic Training turns out soldiers. Would you rather assault a hill with a know-nothing rookie or a salty NCO? I went into one is SF recently looking for job leads and watched an “instructor” tell six young newbies how Cointreau, Triple Sec, Curacao and Grand Marnier are “basically all the same thing–orange flavored booze, just some cost more than others!” Wow. Glad these kids were paying hundreds to learn a bunch of BS like that.
25 Apr 2009 at 5:14 am 81. Chris
Ok now I just watched the actual video in question. Is this guy KIDDING? He’s teaching people how to tend bar? “Well, people don’t really use fresh limes anymore because they’re expensive, or they’re out of season…” etc. Hey, Clown, when’s the last time you walked into a grocery store and DIDN’T see limes for sale? God forbid! Let’s use the sweet and sour instead because the sourness varies depending on how ripe the limes are! Perfect reasoning there.
16 May 2009 at 5:24 am 82. jess
farkn hell theres no pride in his work “the easy way to make a good drink” make it properly in less bloody time use FRESH LIMES use as many FRESH ingredients possible. tard
05 Jun 2009 at 7:56 am 83. Lisa C
OMG! Now that guy gives Bartending schools such a bad name!!!!
I recently went back to bartending after many years of being away. I did go through a good bartending school where there was NO WAY
05 Jun 2009 at 8:01 am 84. Lisa C
OOPS, SORRY, for some reason, I the send button hit itself…
So, as I was saying, there was NO WAY my instructor would let me or anyone else for that matter, get away with making a drink like that, (or picked my nose whilst I did it) She would have kicked me to the curb and told me NEVER to come back.
And BTW, since when is a Daiquiri made in a freakin martini glass????? What a moron!!!
05 Jun 2009 at 9:40 am 85. Todd Appel
Little known factoid: Pre Castro Cuba was the land of gatorade green sweet and sour mix…matched the snot on the fingers and wrist and sleeve of the cane field workers…
Lisa C – Sorry to say, but he’s using the proper glass. Daiquiris were never meant to be blended.
05 Jun 2009 at 11:04 am 87. ND
I’ve always found a Daiquiri to be kind of like a more sophisticated Caipirinha, and it’d be interesting to do some research into how the Cubans generally drink theirs (I imagine they have a similar arrangement to the Brazilian bathtub full of cachaca and a lime tree in the back yard (: ). Someone commented on Robert Hess’s Mojito video that Cubans drink their Mojitos in a similar format to a Caipirinha, with the lime and mint muddled and served in a rocks glass over ice (no soda). I’ve tried this, and it makes for a great drink (although I’ve found that you need to use a gold or dark rum to prevent the other stuff from overpowering the drink—the muddled mint also produces a kind of “louche”, which is pretty cool).
Like everywhere on the world and almost everydrink, Cubans are preparing their Mojitos in a variety of ways. Though the “classic” way with lime juice and bruised mint in a highball seems to be the most authentic and also the most common recipe…
21 Jun 2009 at 5:29 am 89. Leon
I cant believe that he forgot to add the boogers to the “rob roy”
unless the inclusion of the olive counts….
06 Jul 2009 at 7:51 am 90. matt
That is so retarded. Do they actually pay this guy?
Lets cut corners and hope customers don’t notice….
18 Aug 2009 at 9:06 am 91. MRG
I had the misfortune of working with a bartender from American once. As I entered my management career I made it a point to never hire ANYONE with American on their resume. These morons give us all a bad name…
18 Aug 2009 at 10:45 am 92. ND
I once had the misfortune of working with a bartender from Engrish. Ditto.
22 Aug 2009 at 2:51 am 93. Bernhard
No I understand why in some areas of the USA you are allowed to wear weapons….I suppose you get through with self defence, when sth. like that is served.
ya, limes are always out of season for me… what else.. hmmm…. ya, i loved the 10 second nostral scratch/pick followed by the molestation of the liquor nozzel.
end.
27 Nov 2009 at 9:48 am 95. Sherri
Unbelievable. I had to watch more to see if they were all equally bad. Yup. Pretty much so. Although I did learn how to make a really great Bloody Mary. You put one ounce of vodka in your ice-filled rocks glass, and then you open a bottle of store bought bloody mary mix and pour some in.
Priceless info here. Didja know that bloody marys used ta be just tomato juice and vodka, but nowadays it’s tomato juice and pretty much whatever else the manufacturer wants to add to it.
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14 Feb 2008 at 6:32 am 1. lilu
gross. you think they would at least edit that out.
14 Feb 2008 at 9:51 am 2. Alex
That is so awesome! I’m quite surprised to find that limes are no longer used. I’ll be sure to let my friends know so they can get them out of their bars and get some sweet and sour on the guns. Don’t want anybody looking like they’re behind the times.
14 Feb 2008 at 10:07 am 3. Scortch
Absolutely revolting in so many ways. Just about as vulgar as it gets. I’ve seen some of these sorts of videos elsewhere and always marveled at the lack of skills in so many of them but this is too, too much. And that this guys actually “trains” “bartenders”…
Y’know, there’s a recent post on drinkboston.com concerning bartenders and the respect they deserve and often do not get. It’s guys like the one in the video and the “Hey, pal, I went ta skool for this!” lunkheads their programs expectorate that probably have more to do with the low regard given so many men behind the stick.
Just sad.
14 Feb 2008 at 10:29 am 4. jimmy
I always forget to get the “secret ingredient” out of my nose and make sure it’s in the drink. I could learn a lot at the American Bartending School. That is the worst drink I have ever seen.
I think you should reformulate the Richmond Gimlet, remove the mint and the real juice. And don’t forget the “secret ingredient!”
14 Feb 2008 at 10:35 am 5. Blair, aka Trader Tiki
Wow
can they not at least edit the nose wiping?
The shaking method was… well, I put it in a not so nice way amongst private company, I’ll just say.
14 Feb 2008 at 10:43 am 6. Jeffrey Morgenthaler
“Will the drink taste better with fresh juice? Ennnnnnhhh, yeah, but……”
14 Feb 2008 at 11:02 am 7. Eugenia
Oh. My. God. I thought you were kidding about the nose. Top off with a spritz of snot. Might make it taste better, actually.
14 Feb 2008 at 11:27 am 8. Ben
There’s nothing so refreshing as a flourescent yellow daiquiri…
14 Feb 2008 at 11:36 am 9. Dane
Wacthing this really encouraged me to enroll in American Bartending School; luckily, they have 5 locations, so I should be able to find one nearby. Per their website:
1) “Bartending is easy” (thank God)
2) “Student learn about the liquors they work with” (Hence, the “School” part of their name)
3) And, “Over 50% of our graduates don’t drink” (No shit? After watching me make your drink like this, are you SURE you don’t want to try it???)
14 Feb 2008 at 12:29 pm 10. Marshall
I just died a little bit inside . . .
14 Feb 2008 at 1:35 pm 11. Marleigh
I like that skipping the sweet & sour and using fresh lime juice means that you’d have to “figure out” the proportion of sugar to juice.
Since there aren’t any books out there with a recipe.
Or, you know, the internet.
14 Feb 2008 at 1:51 pm 12. Smach
God, I’m thirsty.
14 Feb 2008 at 2:16 pm 13. Jessica H.
I get the feeling this talented bartender wanted to pick, but he was being professional so he just rubbed, with some incidental contact.
Remember when Jerry was wrongfully accused of picking?
George Costanza: Was there any nostril penetration?
Jerry Seinfeld: There may have been some incidental contact.
14 Feb 2008 at 4:26 pm 14. Dood (Matt R.)
I believe this is precisely the way Hemmingway liked his daiquiris.
14 Feb 2008 at 10:17 pm 15. Lance J. Mayhew
OMG, I’m dying right now. I actually think that technically, he didn’t make a daiquiri, but a rum sour since it was commercial s&s and no sugar. Maybe the choice of a stemmed glass made the difference though. You should check and see if ABS has a rum sour class online. Of course, I’m not a bartending school grad so I’m not positive. And who knew rum came in different colors?
15 Feb 2008 at 6:51 am 16. Mixology
This video is already a classic! :-)
We keep watching it again and again since it came up somewhere! Thanks for finally listing up the ingredients, Jeffrey!
Maybe you should add, that one has to let the drink water down in the shaker for a couple of minutes (after “shaking”) before you strain it into the glass.
And the shaking: that must be a new variant of the “Tiger Hard Shake” from Japan.
15 Feb 2008 at 6:53 am 17. Mixology
“7. Talk about difference between fresh lime juice and sour mix while drink melts in shaker.”
Sorry, obviously didn´t see this, while laughing…
15 Feb 2008 at 11:26 am 18. Jeremy
Those who can, do
Those who can’t do, teach.
I wonder how much of that one ounce of rum made it into the chilled stemmed cocktail glass?
15 Feb 2008 at 1:30 pm 19. Dominik MJ
Ridiculous that this guy teaches bartenders! Not only that he doesn’t have a bit of job related knowledge (which exceeds the point of artificial sweet and sour and cost reduction), he even obviously hasn’t got an idea of hygiene.
I mean, where the hell is the problem to wash the hands after “touching” his nose?
This is guy is a disgrace for every single bartender!
16 Feb 2008 at 10:28 am 20. Dan
This still isn’t as bad as the “Woodford Reserve Mint Julep”
16 Feb 2008 at 12:02 pm 21. dshenaut
I like the perfect measure that comes from using a jigger. It makes all the difference in balancing the complex artificial flavors.
16 Feb 2008 at 10:18 pm 22. Alan Akwai
I’m laughing, alone, on the couch.
17 Feb 2008 at 11:16 am 23. Bruce Tomlinson
The first time I saw one of this guys videos it angered me. What an embaressement to Bartenders everywhere. Now I’m of the mindset that if I need a good laugh, I just watch one of his {What Not To Do Videos}.
The sad part is the unsuspecting sucker that thinks is the correct way to be a Bartender.
Bruce Tomlinson
18 Feb 2008 at 1:21 am 24. Slap
Good Lord.
And I thought it was bad when he slaughtered the pronunciation of the word “botanicals” when describing sweet vermouth in the their video on the Manhattan.
Breathtakingly awful.
18 Feb 2008 at 8:27 am 25. ND
This drink should be christened “the Green Goblin” in this guy’s honour… I’m curious, though: what do bartenders do with the extra bits of cocktails left behind in the shaker? Drink them? Chuck them into some kind of “fishbowl”? (I suppose most folks would say that they measure carefully enough not to have issues like this, but I’m sure that wouldn’t always work?).
18 Feb 2008 at 10:40 am 26. Darryl
Hah, I remember seeing this on YouTube and practically bursting a vessel in the comments section. This guy is completely clueless (and a mite defensive and self-righteous about it, if his posts on the Webtender.com forums are any indication). Thanks for featuring it.
18 Feb 2008 at 11:59 am 27. Ginger
Priceless! Can I get rum in blue?
And what will I do with all of my limes and simple syrup now?
18 Feb 2008 at 5:04 pm 28. Chip and Andy
OMG! Is he serious?
Ehhhhhhh, I guess fresh lime would be OK.
I am so glad I do all my mixing on my home bar and dont have to deal with the idiots this guys ‘teaches’….
18 Feb 2008 at 6:49 pm 29. Rick
This is so hilarious that I feel there is a market for making videos of such badly produced drinks. It would be so horribly easy.
Everyone’s comments are quite a joy as well.
21 Feb 2008 at 10:00 am 30. ms.sc
are you sure this isn’t a joke? It just seems like such a joke. I am so glad I didn’t go to bartending school. I bet my patrons are too since I never learned the rub nose and eye vigorously while making drink method.
22 Feb 2008 at 7:42 am 31. Scottes
I could deal with the sour mix, but why, oh why, did they have to use Bacardi?
:-)
22 Feb 2008 at 3:14 pm 32. dim zappas
is not a joke we also discover this videos two months before and i break into a laugh.
oooo my Good and if you see the Lynchburg lemonade you gonna death from laugh.
and there is barlady in some recipes……..
26 Feb 2008 at 1:02 am 33. Michaelg
“Now, earlier in the video, you saw me wipe my nose briefly with my finger. Some of you might have thought that was sort of gross. Well, just to make sure that everyone is disgusted, I’m going to do it again, only longer.
…But don’t worry, that lemon-lime stuff, combined with the alcohol in your drink, will kill any of my germs…
…What am I saying? Just look at me! A bartender. For 20 years, and in some places I have long ago chosen to forget. I have germs even that even that cocktail mix won’t be able to kill…But still folks, take my word for it, this stuff will take care of the everyday common cold. And another great thing about compared to real limes — the shelf life is over twelve years!”
27 Feb 2008 at 12:30 pm 34. arthur
holy mother of satan help me….
i didnt know limes were extinct,i guess the taste of snot will even out the flavour profile of the sour mix.
this video is gold
where do i sign up for the school?hemmingway is digging himself out of his grave to slap the be jesus outta this school.
28 Feb 2008 at 9:23 am 35. rumo
..he sniffed too much cokaine the night before…afraid something left there…
…he is ridicolous…
29 Feb 2008 at 12:48 am 36. Scott
At least the Mint Julip recipe girl was easier on the eyes than this guy..
01 Mar 2008 at 11:07 am 37. Dr.Cocktail
OK, a little perspective, here. This fellow is actually very cutting edge. It’s the new performance art/culinary genre of bartending. The performance: He is depicting the Human Condition, the disillusionment and ennui of urban life in a cocktail school. Feel the drama. Think Martha Graham. The culinary: Gum arabic is hard to get. He mixes his OWN gomme syrup from simple corn syrup – and emulsifies the syrup with his, ah, wipings. He then deftly transmuted this to sour mix by adding the FINEST powdered limes.
Could any of us do better and with such pathos?
I think not.
Hope this helps! –Doc
01 Mar 2008 at 7:58 pm 38. Marleigh
Doc,
You lost me at “wipings.”
Yikes.
Marleigh
02 Mar 2008 at 7:59 am 39. Shelly
Please, oh please, tell me this is a Saturday Night Live skit.
The recipe, sans the boogers, sounds like something I might have tried when I was, oh I don’t know, 21 (many years ago).
High quality bartending school, eh?
02 Mar 2008 at 7:35 pm 40. Bruce Tomlinson
The envelope please.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this years snOtSCAR goes to the American Bartending School because of the special ingredient they put in their daiquiri’s.
03 Mar 2008 at 5:12 am 41. blair frodelius
Instead of sweet & sour mix, I use a blend of flat Mountain Dew (left over from parties) and Sweet-Tarts. I do however, keep a box of tissues handy when filming my instructional videos.
03 Mar 2008 at 5:53 pm 42. Dr.Cocktail
That one wins, hands down.
04 Mar 2008 at 8:28 am 43. Giuseppe
Quite possibly the most awesome video I have ever seen… I am gonna call this guy to do a presentation at Tales this year… He is inspiring!
04 Mar 2008 at 10:02 am 44. Jeffrey Morgenthaler
There are 80, count ‘em – 80 – more videos by this cat on YouTube.
How our friend Jack is qualified to train anyone in anything is beyond me, but listening to him slaughter the word “botanicals” when speaking about vermouth should be a big warning sign:
05 Mar 2008 at 2:20 am 45. Chris
Oh my f***ing god! Watch when he makes the worst old fashioned i’ve ever seen someone make.
That’s is just awesome.
I can’t believe that people like him actually are allowed to “teach” other people.
05 Mar 2008 at 2:11 pm 46. Doug Winship
Perfect Jeffrey, just perfect!
Nobody fisks a bartending video like you do. Of course nobody else fisks them at all, that I know of. Still, why should they bother, when you do it so damn well? Remind me not to get on your bad side!
Incidentally, I think this video would make a damn fine hiring aid. Show it to a prospective bartender, and if he or she doesn’t laugh their contemptuous ass off, they don’t make the cut….
05 Mar 2008 at 4:07 pm 47. Japanese whisky
Inspiring
06 Mar 2008 at 12:11 am 48. Robert Heugel
The Rob Roy Video -
“Bonacals”??? Is he trying to say barnacles instead of botanicals??? Yeah, I’ll take my Rob Roy attached to a freakin’ ship, thanks.
06 Mar 2008 at 7:21 am 49. Jeff Cooley
Had way too much time on my hands this morning so I’ve been watching this guy’s videos. My favorite so far is the Orgasm. I really just wanted to hear him have to say the drink name for a laugh, then it just got so much better. Following the link doesn’t take you right to the video (I couldn’t get a direct link) but you just have to scroll down to the orgasm video.
http://www.barschool.com/recipes/O/orgasm.asp
Trust me, it’s worth it. He actually drops the Kahlua, knocking over some glass-ware in the process, and becomes visibly frustrated to the point he has to stop the video (though he doesn’t edit out the accident, I guess he doesn’t have i-movie). After he regains his composure he fails horribly trying to make the already disgusting layered shot and explains that his completely un-layered creation will separate on its own after a minute or so. Now, I hate the whole idea of shooters and I especially hate uber sweet layered shooters (as a rule I generally refuse to make them for people) but if I absolutely had to, and owned a bar school (god forbid), and posted videos of myself making drinks on the internet, I think I would be sure to make a beautiful Orgasm.
06 Mar 2008 at 11:42 am 50. Scott
Check out the recipe for a Brandy Alexander. Did you know you can use half and half or cream, whatever you happen to have on hand.. Also, it has “cream dee coco,” not creme de cacao in it, which comes in both light and dark, which can look like water. And you have to love the techno music in the background for such a classic drink.
06 Mar 2008 at 12:58 pm 51. blair frodelius
These videos are turning into the “Be Kind, Rewind” remakes of mixology.
16 Mar 2008 at 12:28 am 52. Josh M.
At least he knows what Irish Cream is, Jeff…”It’s Irish, it’s creamy, it has an alcoholic, uh, content…”
Priceless!
18 Mar 2008 at 10:28 am 53. Trevor Smith
That’s the most realistic representation of what I think bartending school is like that I’ve ever seen.
Let this be a lesson to all perspective bartenders that are thinking of bartending school or the unfortunate many that have gone and lead off your introduction to a bar manager with “I’m a licensed mixologist”
This video perfectly exemplifies the kind of training you’ll receive. Not to mention, there is more to bartending then drink knowledge.
20 Mar 2008 at 3:06 pm 54. Chuck
That guy’s videos are just too revolting for words.
Now, for good cocktail-making videos, they just posted a handy-dandy compendium of Chris McMillian’s 20 videos on “New Orleans’ Best Cocktails” over at the Times-Picayune.
20 Mar 2008 at 3:08 pm 55. Chuck
Not to mention Robert’s too, of course. :)
07 Apr 2008 at 4:42 pm 56. heckler
i like totally love you, man.
20 Apr 2008 at 10:08 am 57. Sommelier
Ughhhhhh!!!!!! And this guy is supposed to be so good that he is teaching? Remember, please, that we are professionals! We keep our hands and nails clean & neat (no biting your fingernails!), and away from our noses, faces, ears and hair.
20 Apr 2008 at 6:55 pm 58. Jesse
http://youtube.com/watch?v=NIBTx-Dfh0M
also kinda fun watching him say cum shot.
20 Apr 2008 at 7:04 pm 59. Jesse
http://youtube.com/watch?v=OjGNdhiu4Wo
Omg omg, here is the orgasm one. We couldn’t find it on youtube because he spelled it with an I.
28 May 2008 at 4:31 am 60. Mark
Not only would this recipe taste bad….the color of the drink is revolting! WTF commercial brand of sour mix are they using!?
28 May 2008 at 4:36 am 61. Mark
I also want to reply to Trevor’s comment…
People often ask me if I went to school to be a bartender. I tell them know, in fact I got my first job as a bartender with no front of the house restaurant experience.
I was lucky, but the bar manager knew me as someone who was honest, had a good personality, and knew how to take care of customers. The drinks, she said, are the easy part.
Not to imply that a bartender can get by without drink knowledge, but a person can’t be “taught” honesty or personality.
A long response I know, but I always dissuade people from going to bartender school.
28 May 2008 at 10:00 pm 62. Hex
I agree this is revolting, but how else would someone learn? I am interested in bar tending and have thought about these schools a couple of times. Glad I didn’t go now.
29 May 2008 at 10:06 am 63. Jeffrey Morgenthaler
Hex
You’re at a good place to start, now visit my friends in the links section above and to the right. I learn from the books in my recommendations list and the websites in my blogroll every day.
Good luck!
11 Jun 2008 at 12:28 am 64. Bradley Dawson
I am actually offended that this guy didn’t have the decency to mention me when I taught him exactly how to make a correct daiquiri.
And, he forgot the whip cream.
14 Jun 2008 at 9:00 pm 65. Marcus
Oh boy! Jeff Cooley’s video link HAS to be a dead giveaway. It’s obviously all an inside joke! So funny to watch him as he messes up! Haha!
15 Jun 2008 at 3:49 am 66. Jeffrey Morgenthaler
I wish it were a joke, but I’m fairly certain that this is all-too serious.
21 Jun 2008 at 1:37 am 67. Sierra
You picked a winner with this one!
04 Sep 2008 at 12:36 am 68. Chris Doig
I just wanna die after watching this…I feel really bad for any of his students who have had to learn this…he should be banned from bartending for at least 10 years. That might give him some time to think about what he has done.
09 Sep 2008 at 8:31 pm 69. Sambo
A perfect Scotch Manhattan garnished with an olive??? Braaaaaaaaaaaap!!!
Tiano for President!!
17 Dec 2008 at 3:51 am 70. Phill
Well, at least he didn’t use a blender. (Not that it’d be drinkable either way, but still. It coulda been a s&s slushie.)
10 Jan 2009 at 3:58 pm 71. Michael Lazar
Late to the party but unless I am mistaken, no one seems to have shared these gems of bartending yet so for you watching pleasure:
http://www.5min.com/Video/How-to-Mix-a-Tom-Collins-Cocktail-76183496
http://www.5min.com/Video/Bikini-Cocktail-How-to-Make-a-Bad-Attitude-12969450
21 Jan 2009 at 7:57 am 72. Anj
Hmmm. Cokehead much? ;)
04 Feb 2009 at 10:12 pm 73. SugarBarChick
..and this is precisely why I opted NOT to go to bartending school!
Experience is a much better teacher than BoogerMan will ever be.
Perhaps real lime juice would overpower the subtle notes of SNOT in the beverage….
02 Mar 2009 at 2:28 pm 74. Christy
Ewww.
Perfect bartender for an early John Waters movie.
A year after your post & still holds quite a punch!
04 Mar 2009 at 7:46 pm 75. ellie
If I had seen that man making that drink I would have run out of the place. Who wipes their nose repeatedly while making drink? Honestly. I feel as though this has to be a joke. And someone else deemed this video acceptable enough to post it on the internet….
11 Mar 2009 at 12:42 pm 76. DJ Dubonnet
Maybe he just misread his own recipe.
Daquiri:
Pour one snot of rum…
11 Mar 2009 at 8:08 pm 77. Nick
Anytime I feel a little down I come to this page. “The Green Goblin” and “wipings” comments perk me up every time.
25 Mar 2009 at 1:42 pm 78. Tony
I went to a bartending school, not ABS, and had a pretty good instructor. I do wish that the instruction went further into using fresh juice, simple syrups, bitters and creating drinks…like what I’m doing now.
Thanks to Jeffery (and a few others)for the websites that are continuing my “education”.
19 Apr 2009 at 5:46 pm 79. Churba
I went to bar school, however, I went to a proper trade college for it – COTAH(College of Tourism and Hospitality) in Brisbane, Australia. They’re actually accredited – which is hard to do back home – and our teacher was hard, and sometimes a bit of a bastard, but he was fair, and it was for our benefit – like a drill instructor with a cocktail shaker.
Not only did he drill into us good technique(to this day I still wince when someone scoops ice with a glass) but he also gave us a large amount of knowledge about cocktail creation, tastes, flavors and such.
He never let us put a cocktail on the bar that we had not tasted ourselves – his theory went that if you’re not willing to taste it, and don’t have a medical reason not to do so, you shouldn’t be serving it to a customer. He also taught us there are two industries where you can never betray your client – Medicine and bartending.
I recall I kept over-using bitters in my cocktails, and he asked me “Do you know your ingredient?” and I said, somewhat insolently(I felt like he was treating me as if I was stupid) “Of course, It’s bitters.” and he said “Descibe the taste to me, then. Take a shot of it.” So I did, and rapidly learned that I didn’t really know my ingredient as well as I thought i did, and that drinking neat bitters is really not something I want to do on a regular basis.
25 Apr 2009 at 4:54 am 80. Chris
Most bartending “schools” are cookie-cutter mills that turn out “bartenders” the way Basic Training turns out soldiers. Would you rather assault a hill with a know-nothing rookie or a salty NCO? I went into one is SF recently looking for job leads and watched an “instructor” tell six young newbies how Cointreau, Triple Sec, Curacao and Grand Marnier are “basically all the same thing–orange flavored booze, just some cost more than others!” Wow. Glad these kids were paying hundreds to learn a bunch of BS like that.
25 Apr 2009 at 5:14 am 81. Chris
Ok now I just watched the actual video in question. Is this guy KIDDING? He’s teaching people how to tend bar? “Well, people don’t really use fresh limes anymore because they’re expensive, or they’re out of season…” etc. Hey, Clown, when’s the last time you walked into a grocery store and DIDN’T see limes for sale? God forbid! Let’s use the sweet and sour instead because the sourness varies depending on how ripe the limes are! Perfect reasoning there.
16 May 2009 at 5:24 am 82. jess
farkn hell theres no pride in his work “the easy way to make a good drink” make it properly in less bloody time use FRESH LIMES use as many FRESH ingredients possible. tard
05 Jun 2009 at 7:56 am 83. Lisa C
OMG! Now that guy gives Bartending schools such a bad name!!!!
I recently went back to bartending after many years of being away. I did go through a good bartending school where there was NO WAY
05 Jun 2009 at 8:01 am 84. Lisa C
OOPS, SORRY, for some reason, I the send button hit itself…
So, as I was saying, there was NO WAY my instructor would let me or anyone else for that matter, get away with making a drink like that, (or picked my nose whilst I did it) She would have kicked me to the curb and told me NEVER to come back.
And BTW, since when is a Daiquiri made in a freakin martini glass????? What a moron!!!
05 Jun 2009 at 9:40 am 85. Todd Appel
Little known factoid: Pre Castro Cuba was the land of gatorade green sweet and sour mix…matched the snot on the fingers and wrist and sleeve of the cane field workers…
This is tradition at its best
we dont need no stinking limes!
How does that stuff get made?
my jaw needs help getting off the ground..
05 Jun 2009 at 10:27 am 86. Jeffrey Morgenthaler
Lisa C – Sorry to say, but he’s using the proper glass. Daiquiris were never meant to be blended.
05 Jun 2009 at 11:04 am 87. ND
I’ve always found a Daiquiri to be kind of like a more sophisticated Caipirinha, and it’d be interesting to do some research into how the Cubans generally drink theirs (I imagine they have a similar arrangement to the Brazilian bathtub full of cachaca and a lime tree in the back yard (: ). Someone commented on Robert Hess’s Mojito video that Cubans drink their Mojitos in a similar format to a Caipirinha, with the lime and mint muddled and served in a rocks glass over ice (no soda). I’ve tried this, and it makes for a great drink (although I’ve found that you need to use a gold or dark rum to prevent the other stuff from overpowering the drink—the muddled mint also produces a kind of “louche”, which is pretty cool).
12 Jun 2009 at 6:14 am 88. Dominik MJ
Like everywhere on the world and almost everydrink, Cubans are preparing their Mojitos in a variety of ways. Though the “classic” way with lime juice and bruised mint in a highball seems to be the most authentic and also the most common recipe…
21 Jun 2009 at 5:29 am 89. Leon
I cant believe that he forgot to add the boogers to the “rob roy”
unless the inclusion of the olive counts….
06 Jul 2009 at 7:51 am 90. matt
That is so retarded. Do they actually pay this guy?
Lets cut corners and hope customers don’t notice….
18 Aug 2009 at 9:06 am 91. MRG
I had the misfortune of working with a bartender from American once. As I entered my management career I made it a point to never hire ANYONE with American on their resume. These morons give us all a bad name…
18 Aug 2009 at 10:45 am 92. ND
I once had the misfortune of working with a bartender from Engrish. Ditto.
22 Aug 2009 at 2:51 am 93. Bernhard
No I understand why in some areas of the USA you are allowed to wear weapons….I suppose you get through with self defence, when sth. like that is served.
11 Sep 2009 at 3:44 pm 94. lauren mote
ya, limes are always out of season for me… what else.. hmmm…. ya, i loved the 10 second nostral scratch/pick followed by the molestation of the liquor nozzel.
end.
27 Nov 2009 at 9:48 am 95. Sherri
Unbelievable. I had to watch more to see if they were all equally bad. Yup. Pretty much so. Although I did learn how to make a really great Bloody Mary. You put one ounce of vodka in your ice-filled rocks glass, and then you open a bottle of store bought bloody mary mix and pour some in.
Priceless info here. Didja know that bloody marys used ta be just tomato juice and vodka, but nowadays it’s tomato juice and pretty much whatever else the manufacturer wants to add to it.
Where do I enroll???