Quiz: Cocktail Geek, or “Bear”?
Thursday, July 22nd, 2010
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As many of you might know, this week is the annual cocktail geek gathering in New Orleans known as Tales of the Cocktail. Every year, bartenders, brand ambassadors, and cocktail enthusiasts from all over the world come together to celebrate, learn about, and embrace the cocktail renaissance.
Coincidentally, Tales falls almost five months to the day after International Bear Rendezvous in San Francisco. Every year bears, cubs, and daddies from all over the world come together to celebrate, learn about, and embrace the bear culture.
And while the two festivals may have different purposes, they do share a common theme: liberal cities full of large, bearded men getting together and sweating profusely while consuming lots of alcohol. So in the the spirit of celebrating our collective alternative lifestyles, I present to you this photo quiz: let’s see if you can tell the two events apart.
1. Start with an easy one. Cocktail geek, or “bear”?
Big guy, full beard, collared shirt, lanyard. That’s classic cocktail geek getup right there, folks, in the form of top cocktail geek Rick Stutz, AKA Kaiser Penguin.
2. Okay, this one’s a little tougher. Cocktail geek, or “bear”?
Big guy, full beard, no shirt, no lanyard. You’ve got yourself a bear in the wild right here.
3. Answer this one quickly: cocktail geek, or “bear”?
Smaller guy, full beard, no shirt, but standing in front of the Hotel Monteleone at four in the morning? Unfortunately for some, public nudity is a very real part of both events. And while your initial response might have been “bear”, this is actually cocktail geek and Chicago bartender Brad Bolt.
We would have also accepted “cub”.
4. Okay, let’s go. Cocktail geeks, or “bears”?
Two men: one bearded, one goateed. Both are wearing polo shirts, and both are understandably drinking beer from plastic cups. Ready? Bears.
I warned you, this isn’t always easy.
5. Now try this. Cocktail geeks, or “bears”?
Again, two men, one bearded, one goateed. Both are wearing Hawaiian shirts and inexplicably drinking Velvet Falernum from the bottle.
Cocktail geeks. Always. These bears are actually a special subset of cocktail geeks known as tiki nerds. The nerds in this instance are Matt “RumDood” Robold and Craig “Dr. Bamboo” Mrusek. Only a tiki nerd would drink Velvet Falernum straight from the bottle.
6. An important part of bear culture is the notion of “cubs”; younger men who identify with the culture and often accompany older men. Here are four pictures of younger men accompanying older men. See if you can pick out the one couple of cocktail geeks from the group.
Photos C and D are of bears and cubs.
Photo A is Seattle cocktail and spirits writer Paul Clarke, and San Francisco bartender/brand ambassador Neyah White.
Photo B is an intentional trick: Star Trek: The Next Generation actors Jonathan Frakes (as Commander WIlliam Riker) and Wil Wheaton as (Lieutenant Wesley Crusher) are huge icons in the bear/cub community.
Sadly I can’t be there in New Orleans this year with all of my cocktail nerd brothers and sisters, as I came down with a wicked case of pneumonia earlier in the week. But if you’d like to follow along with all of their exploits, be sure to check out the Tales Blog for all of the juicy bits.
22 Jul 2010 at 8:27 am 1. Craig Hermann
I’m pretty sure that’s someone’s (Matt’s likely) home-made falernum inside a conveniently reused Velvet Falernum bottle. Just to ratchet up the cocktail geek factor, natch’.
For the bear factor, Matt is in the process of saying, “Step off my dick.”
22 Jul 2010 at 8:36 am 2. Lauren Clark
Was it the pneumonia that led to this inspired bit of ribaldry? Whatever, I’m on board.
22 Jul 2010 at 8:52 am 3. Jim Romdall
Tales just isn’t the same without ya. But we have a few surprises in store.
22 Jul 2010 at 9:08 am 4. Joe
this is lame. and im a “bear”
22 Jul 2010 at 9:12 am 5. Marleigh
I’m sorry that we’re both missing Tales this year, but I am amused to note that not only do I know your cocktail geek bears, I actually know one of the actual bears from SF in your photos. Which probably says more about me than anything else.
Get well soon!
22 Jul 2010 at 9:22 am 6. Matt R.
That was, in fact, my homemade falernum. I was also operating that muddler under the influence of X-Rated…cause I’m stupid.
22 Jul 2010 at 10:51 am 7. Ron Diggity
I love Rumdood wielding that muddler like he’s drawing upon the power of Grayskull.
22 Jul 2010 at 11:14 am 8. Dr. Bamboo
Both Craig & Matt are correct- it was Matt’s homemade falernum (one of several different recipes he brought, if I’m not mistaken).
I had attempted to pour a small measure into a glass to sample it, but was commanded to just drink it straight from the bottle by the gentleman brandishing the frighteningly large muddler. Never let it be said I can’t take direction.
Get better ASAP Jeffrey!
22 Jul 2010 at 11:19 am 9. SeanMike
I just had to explain a) why I was busting up laughing at the Carousel Bar and b) what a “bear” is.
22 Jul 2010 at 12:02 pm 10. Rum Balls
I believe that both cocktail nerds & bears/cubs ALL like to “wield their muddlers” :)
22 Jul 2010 at 1:43 pm 11. Jeffrey Morgenthaler
I’m glad I could entertain you all from afar and hope that everyone is having a great time without me (sniff, sniff) in New Orleans this week.
Jeff
PS – I’m concerned that I haven’t heard from Rick yet… I certainly hope he isn’t planning some sort of retaliation.
22 Jul 2010 at 6:06 pm 12. Jimmy
I like this quiz. Is there any difference between a bear and a cocktail geek? Can one be both?
I will also be crying into my cocktail glass again this year while everyone except us is in New Orleans.
23 Jul 2010 at 3:29 am 13. Erik Adkins
Sorry Neyah, your are too old to be a cub. Though you do make a formidable bear. By the way, Daniel Shoemaker and I have bartended at many rendevous bear parties when we both worked at “Thirsy Bear Brewing Co” in the 90’s. Its like a homosexual Comicon.
28 Jul 2010 at 12:12 am 14. Christopher Martino
This gets four and a quarter star in my book, and it trumps the Gay or Just European game I started when I had a group of 5 Italian guys at work!
29 Jul 2010 at 1:49 am 15. Rocky
so glad I don’t have a beard
01 Aug 2010 at 12:02 pm 16. Jenny Adams
Ok,
I know i’m late to this discussion (sue me – i have a job which i’m busy procrastinating at)
But i just wanted to point out to morgenthaler that the muddler being wielded appears to be a red plastic Boca Loca muddler.
Two words Jeffrey – Mouth Breathers.
01 Aug 2010 at 2:20 pm 17. Rowen
Hilarious look on your face in #3. That Brad sure looks sweet, btw.
14 Aug 2010 at 9:50 pm 18. federico cuco
JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA
26 Aug 2010 at 7:00 am 19. Ben
This is, perhaps, one of the best things I’ve ever seen. Bravo.