Comments on: How to Vomit on Your Keyboard Ten Different Ways

By: The Designer

The Designer — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 18:51:56 +0000

For those who missed it, check out the comments under each of those drinks, they’re just as harsh as ours.

Now to a serious question, wouldn’t simmering “punch” for 4-6 hours make it devoid of all alcohol?

By: Jonathan Van Ark

Jonathan Van Ark — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 16:49:46 +0000

I just like that the link takes you to
ew.com — should be ewwwww.com
but — whatever.

By: Nick

Nick — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 23:38:09 +0000

I love the fact that this story still gets hits almost a year later! Such a testament.

By: jeff underwood

jeff underwood — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 15:14:48 +0000

This woman kills me. Her attempts at cocktails, much like almost every attempt at a cocktail on Food Network is a disaster. She doesn’t even measure for Christ’s sake! I’ve been known to free-pour on occasion, but she just dumps in stuff straight out of the bottle! My favorite instance of this is when she made some random drink, which was all booze, in which she dumped 3 different liquors, un-chilled, into a giant snifter. And that was it. That was the drink. It was literally 8 to 10 ounces of booze, unchilled and undiluted.

By: Devon Belcher

Devon Belcher — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 23:26:56 +0000

try doing a google search for “Sandra Lee Kwanzaa Cake”. I’d provide a link here, but part of the fun is coming across all the people responding to her.

By: mata

mata — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 19:44:54 +0000

Way too funny… Comments even more hilarious! Cheers!

By: Andrea

Andrea — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 19:40:09 +0000

Damage to the mixing world? Sweet jeezus! Try damage to the entire food and drink world.
We should all steer clear of anyone that runs around touting “semi-homemade” anything.
What ever happened to making it all from scratch?

By: Chris

Chris — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 20:47:35 +0000

She does a lot of damage to the mixing world. As I think about it, so do 99% of the celeb chefs that attempt making cocktails.

Guy Fieri is as bad if not worse than she is too, especially his technique.

By: Muss

Muss — Wed, 26 May 2010 14:23:52 +0000

I remember seeing this list sometime ago, and yes, it’s utterly revolting.

By: JulianZ

JulianZ — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 19:40:15 +0000

What’s not just unfortunate but absolutely soul crushing about this (besides the stomach curdling ‘recipes’ for ‘cocktails’) is the fact that her fame is a clear sign of the times we live in.

Quality is no longer what people are concerned with and we bartenders along with chefs constantly are forced to compromise. Compromises in terms of flavour and contents. At the bar I work at (linked to) I’ve been asked for cocktails that are low-fat, sugar-free, cool-looking and other ridiculous insults to our craft.

When I walk into a cocktail bar I’m looking for taste, not a diet, an image or something with enough sugar to give a horse a stroke without the benfit of flavour. Getting absoluteley shithoused is just a bonus…

One of the things we as a team at my workplace strive to do is re-introduce people to the classic notion of a cocktail. Take people out of their comfort zone, put the goddamned Midori down, serve them what must be absolutely disgusting because it wasn’t featured on Sex & the City and more often than not you’ll have gotten yourself a convert. At least for the night.

We can bitch and moan as much as we like (I do it, a lot.) but we also have to do something about it otherwise the near future of our industry will be filled with Midori, Blue Curacao, cheap product and pissweak drinks that are an insult to the hardworking manufacturers of the product actually worth using.

And that’s my self righteous rant of the month done.

Awesome blog, cheers from Melbourne, Australia.

By: Nick

Nick — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 17:28:04 +0000

How about this drink:
1 part crazy bitch
2 parts hot boobies
equal parts satan and robot.

Watching the show on mute makes me put on Mastadon or Slayer and drink the blood of a bat. Okay, maybe a little harsh, maybe not. Too bad all you have to do to host a show is be a hot soccer mom and know how to semi-cook box meals and “construct tablescapes” Seriously, who does that shit?

Thanks for making us feel human Jeff. Keep it up!

Imbibingly yours,
Nick (caskproof)

By: Kate

Kate — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 19:10:46 +0000

“I don’t have to love her drinks – it really isn’t the point.”

Actually, that’s exactly the point.

By: Tokyo Tea

Tokyo Tea — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 19:17:56 +0000

Wow, Sure is a tough time nowadays being Blue Curacao!

By: AK

AK — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 05:44:07 +0000

“Who cares about her mixing citrus vodka or blue curacao – that is her gimmick and she’s quite good at it. She was raised in poverty and mothered her four younger siblings when she was only 11 years old. She’s achieved remarkable success regardless of the card that was dealt to her in life.”

Her gimmick is making tripe, not coming up from poverty. If she wanted to sell me her inspiring story of determination and loyalty I might be alright with it, but the tripe she peddles should be judged for the tripe it is, not for the noble origins from which it sprang.

A compelling backstory cannot give additional worth to inferior food and drink. Food and drink insist on being judged on their merits as such.

By: Mark

Mark — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 02:16:39 +0000

I’m confused. Cocktails aside…

1. A grownup wrote all that crap?

2. She has problems with the abuse in Precious but not a peep about Inglorious Basterds? Mr. Head, meet Mr. Baseball Bat. Mr. Baseball Bat met Mr. Head.

3. She gets paid for this?

Dear God, my life truly has lost all meaning. And I’m out of Rye.

By: Columbine Quillen

Columbine Quillen — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 00:34:47 +0000

Wow, you guys are harsh. Who cares about her mixing citrus vodka or blue curacao – that is her gimmick and she’s quite good at it. She was raised in poverty and mothered her four younger siblings when she was only 11 years old. She’s achieved remarkable success regardless of the card that was dealt to her in life. I personally don’t care much for her recipes and tablescapes – however I do have a lot of admiration and respect for a self-made woman. I don’t have to love her drinks – it really isn’t the point.

By: Julie

Julie — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 18:38:44 +0000

What a shit show! Everything I can ever remember this woman creating makes me want to vom. Blue curacao doesn’t belong anywhere near a cocktail…the blessing comes in disguise here; all this fucking hysterical commentary, thank you, Jeffrey!

By: AK

AK — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 05:16:40 +0000

The amount of sambuca in these drinks is peculiar to me, even beyond the general awfulness.

By: Grant

Grant — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 01:41:51 +0000

deep down i really hope she was taking the piss

By: Gonçalo

Gonçalo — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 01:00:40 +0000

’semi-homedmade’ ?!

half-unconcsious !?

By: lala12

lala12 — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 23:51:27 +0000

Dear Sandra Lee,

Quit trying to look like Heidi Montag.

Thank you

By: Mary Sue

Mary Sue — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:07:01 +0000

But it's Aunt Sandy! No one's really taken her seriously since the Kwanzaa cake!

By: tk

tk — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 14:57:30 +0000

she seems to agree

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLrNGIbqn0w&feature=player_embedded

By: Sam Harrigan

Sam Harrigan — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 14:26:46 +0000

Can’t wait to see the “tablescape” she’s come up with to match this doozy…

By: snb farmer

snb farmer — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 13:16:50 +0000

If a chaser is supposed to be served on the side how do you fill a chilled tall glass with 1oz of Tequila and a splash of tomato juice? It doesn’t say the beer goes in the glass (Hurt Locker). Lots of pineapple juice here who would think pineapple juice could improve an old fashioned?