Jeffrey Morgenthaler

Hey Bartender

My South Side Irish Chicago Dad always told me that Jameson was the Catholic whisky and that Bushmills was the whiskey made by “the damn Protestants”. Now this character I met at the bar is trying to tell me it’s the other way around. Help! Who do I believe, the man who raised me, or some drunk I met in a bar? You can see why I am confused.

School Marm

Hey Marm

I was wondering when someone would ask this question. The truth of the matter is, the age-old faux-pas of ordering Bushmills for fear of supporting English aggression and offending the Republic of Ireland is about as Irish as corned beef - which is to say, not very Irish at all but rather Irish-American (Sorry, kids, corned beef is a Jewish invention).

Anyway, both of your sources are wrong, but at least your father got the order right. The widely-accepted Irish-American version is that Jameson is Catholic whiskey and Bushmills is Protestant whiskey. But that’s merely based on geography: Bushmills is from Northern Ireland (a predominantly Protestant region) and Jameson is from Cork - Catholic country.

Jameson was pretty much founded in 1780 when John Jameson - a Scottish guy - purchased the Bow Street Distillery, which at the time was one of the biggest distilleries in Ireland. Now, it’s important to note that the Scottish Reformation occurred in 1560, so odds are in favor of the founder of the Jameson distillery, being Scottish, was a damn Protestant.

Bushmills, on the other hand, was officially licensed in 1608 by King James I (of Bible fame) and despite of its location deep in the heart of Protestant country (and this next bit is straight from my local Bushmills rep, so take it or leave it) has a Catholic as a master distiller.

According to everyone I’ve spoken with on the subject, you only really find this debate in the States, where Irish-American support of the Republic can sometimes be blind and often fueled by the very product we’re speaking of. But none of it means much, anyway: both distilleries are owned by huge international entities: Jameson by French liquor conglomerate Pernod-Ricard, and Bushmills by the English firm Diageo.

As for my preference, I tend to like the lighter Bushmills as it’s the first Irish whiskey I discovered years ago, and I’ve certainly enjoyed my share of Jameson from time to time. But my personal preference is Redbreast, a twelve-year pot still Irish whiskey produced at the Old Midleton Distillery and a real delight to sip while enjoying a late-night Irish breakfast of sausage, egg, pudding and soda bread. Yum.

Susan writes:

I am a frequent bar customer. I need an explanation of the concept behind buybacks.

One bartender who I was friends with would not let me pay for my drinks, ever. He said they were on him.

One day when it was very slow in the bar I asked him if he could let me pay for my drinks, because he was losing $14 for the two drinks that I had. The owner was present and heard me say this. Thee next time I saw him he was absolutely furious with me and said that this got him in trouble (reprimanded).

How do you get in trouble for this?

Thanks so much for your thoughts,
Susan

Dear Susan

I’ll just bet your friend was furious with you: buybacks may come in many colors, but you just caught him robbing the place blind.

Let me back up and explain the concept of “buybacks” for those who aren’t familiar with the idea. See, in many lower-end bars, neighborhood dives, juke joints, roadhouses, taverns and shitkicker saloons, the bartender has developed a symbiotic relationship with his or her customers that puts a few extra dollars in the barkeep’s pocket at the end of the night, and keeps the clientele coming back for more. It’s called the buyback and it works like this:

I’m a regular customer. I come into your bar five, six nights a week and hoist a good three pints at a sitting, tipping a dollar or more on each beer. You and I have a mutual understanding that my fourth drink is going to be on the house. I, as a customer, don’t really know why this is the rule, and you most likely haven’t been trained by the owner in this practice. But as long as I’m tipping and we’ve got a good relationship as customer and bartender, that fourth drink is gonna be free.

The buyback has been around for a long, long time. My guess is that it’s been around for so long that it originated in a time when owners still worked behind the bar and would buy a drink for a customer as a sign of appreciation for his loyalty. Done in an appropriate manner by someone who actually owns the booze, the buyback can be a very effective tool in maintaining a regular customer base. But don’t be fooled, Susan. Your friend isn’t a savvy businessman, sliding you an occasional drink to thank you for your regular patronage, but rather a douchebag and a thief - giving away alcohol and putting the money in his pocket.

As you said in your email, “One bartender who I was friends with would not let me pay for my drinks, ever… How do you get in trouble for this?” Well, Susan, you get in trouble the same way a teenage employee of The Gap gets busted for putting a pair of leggings in her purse - the only difference is that The Gap would have the good sense to fire the employee in question and your friend’s boss is clearly a moron.

I get upset with bartenders like your friend, because it perpetuates a myth that many people carry with them into bars: that alcohol should be free and well-liked people should never have to pay for a drink. I don’t know where this prevailing attitude comes from, but I suspect it grew out of the venerable buyback. Look at it in another light: every morning you stop at the place by your house for a coffee and a bagel. And every morning you pay full price, never expecting to have the girl behind the counter refuse to take your money. It doesn’t faze you in the least, does it?

So why do some people expect the opposite treatment when it comes to bars? This isn’t even an expectation you see sales-wide in the liquor industry, it’s bar-specific. You would never, ever expect every fourth six-pack at your local grocery store to be free, would you? Really?

As a bartender who doesn’t steal from his employers, I’m forced to rely on a smile, some solid conversation, and a well-made drink to make my living. Sure, I’d probably make more money hopping from job to job, giving away booze at every place in town until either I was fired or the place went out of business, but that’s not much of a career. Sure, I’d be the most popular guy in town, but my hope is that eventually people will once again admire bartenders as hosts, craftspeople, and trusted civic figures and regard us less as petty thieves and scam-artists.

Hey Bartender

I have a question for you, do spirits (rums, bourbons, whiskies, gin, etc.) improve with age in glass bottles? Is it possible for the spirit’s taste to change over time after being bottled? Or, is it the case that after being taken from the wooden barrels that, that is it, the spirit won’t then change in its taste or won’t improve.

Kind Regards,

Brendan

Hey Brendan

You hit the nail on the head at the end there. Sprits do not age once they’ve been bottled. Sorry to break it to you, but that 12-year old Scotch you’ve been saving for twenty years is not now effectively 32 years old. It shouldn’t really taste any different than it did on the day it was packaged.

Hey Bartender

My girlfriend and I are currently trying to get pregnant. My question for you is, is it okay for her to drink in the first trimester? I have heard that this is the safe period when you can have a drink (not too much of course!) and wanted to get your take on it.

Thanks!

HD

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Hey Bartender

I’m expecting a child in the next few weeks. My doctor told me that it would be fine to have a glass of red wine on occasion. I’d like to know if there are any other lower-alcohol drinks you’d recommend for someone who is expecting. Many thanks!

Steph

Hey HD and Steph

There are more myths out there surrounding alcohol and pregnancy than you’ll find regarding alcohol and just about anything else. But the truth of the matter is this: Drinking any alcohol at all during pregnancy is really, really dangerous.

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Sour mix is a gateway drug. It can lead you down a very dark path, or it can open up a new world of fresh flavors or ingredients. As proof of this, I submit to you two examples:

One scenario involves the novice bartender using prepackaged mix as a medium for all sorts of vile concoctions. Let’s face it: bland, weak, artificially-flavored sour mix is the vodka of non-alocholic mixers. Add some raspberry to it, it tastes pretty much like raspberry. Add some whiskey and it’s, uh, flavored whiskey. I guess.

But this other path is one that I’ve been asked a lot about lately, and is the subject of this article: how do you make and properly apply fresh sour mix to cocktails?

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Hey Bartender,

I’m a senior in high school here in Eugene, and I read about you in the Register Guard today. I’ve been thinking about becoming a bartender for a while, and the article, along with your blog, pretty much sealed the deal. I was wondering if you would tell me how you got into it, what I should expect (the good and the bad of the job), and anything else you think is important. I really appreciate any advice you could give me, thanks for your time.

K

Hey K

Get yourself some really comfortable shoes.

Just kidding. Sort of. I think that if you go back and check out some of my older posts you’ll get a pretty good idea of what I think are the positive and the negative aspects of being a career bartender, so check out the archives. But enough about me, let’s talk about you.

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Hey Bartender,

Ever since I started making my own drinks at home I’ve been eyeing all my bartenders like a hawk. I’ve noticed a lot of them use the crack-open-the-boston-shaker straining technique.

What are your thoughts on this? I’m not a huge fan of it because it allows bits of ice to get into the drink and that’s just not very appetizing or pretty ;)

Dan

Hey Dan

I tried to find a video of this for those who don’t understand what we’re talking about here, but I can’t seem to find one. If any of you have your Cocktail DVD handy, Tom Cruise pulls this move when he makes the Turquoise Blue for Gina Gershon. Anyway.

I don’t really have much of an opinion on this. I’ve asked a lot of other bartenders what they thought, and they were also fairly ambivalent. Personally, I’m so used to using a strainer that this particular flair move just slows me down. I agree with your concern that it allows bits of ice to land in what should be a non-chunky drink, but I’d be interested in hearing what others have to say.

So what do you think, internet friends? Strainer or crack?

Hey Bartender

I was hoping you could settle a debate that has begun in my office. The men say that most women drink for free (men buy their drinks) and expect to drink free. The women (myself included) believe this is an old wives tale as we have not the experience of walking into a bar and having random men pick up our tabs. Not that it has never happened but it is an exception not the rule. In your experience as a bartender are we women just going to the wrong places or is this free drink experience really the exception? I know it is silly question but it really is an intense debate!

Your opinion is greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Amy

Hey Amy

When I was in college, I knew a group of girls that would make a game out of leaving the house at night with no money. They would see how drunk they could get for free, schmoozing horny old men into buying them as many drinks as they could drink before moving on to the next bar. Although they had a lot of fun, I could never shake the feeling that this was a really dangerous game they were playing: although they have no right, some men think they’re owed a thing or two after buying a vodka and tonic for a lady.

I’ve tended bar in all sorts of places, from college partyhouses and over-the-tracks dive bars to upscale restaurants and lounges. I can honestly tell you that you’re not missing out on anything. Sure, there’s the occasional woman who doesn’t pay for a thing (I fail to see how this is vastly different from prostitution), but it’s not the rule, it’s an exception.