How Not to Make a Sazerac

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Okay, I know. This is some seriously low-hanging fruit and I should be ashamed of myself for making fun of it. But come on. It’s so bad, but it’s so fun. So sit back, and enjoy this video from one of our longtime favorites.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Sazerac. A drink that originilated in New Orleans.

  1. Get a mixing cup to get your ingredients in there.
  2. Be old school and add an ounce of brandy (note: this makes approximately half a drink)
  3. Add six times the amount of sugar normally called for.
  4. Get those Picard bitters in there.
  5. Add ice and then grab some abstinenthe. Abstinenthe is a blue version of absinthe and tastes like mouthwash.
  6. Placing a bar spoon upside down in the glass, stir until it’s nice and chill.
  7. Skip the always-specified lemon peel and garnish with an orange peel for some unknown reason.
  8. Serve in a cocktail glass.
  9. Profit from the fools who enroll in your bartending school.

26 Replies to “How Not to Make a Sazerac”

  • Greg says:

    Well, he didn’t pick his nose this time. Progress?

  • Nancy says:

    Ohhh…wow…yes! This is the best thing since “Mint Julep is a Mojito w/ Bourbon”!!!

    Jeffrey – I don’t think there was ever any doubt, but truly, you bring sooo much joy into my life! <3

    I hate that these monsters are out there…but PLEASE keep finding them for us?! πŸ˜‰

  • Paludicola says:

    Holy… I…

    I give him some credit for making it with brandy; I like brandy Sazeracs. That I like them is why the video is such a horror show to me.

    I can’t imagine what that must have tasted like. Equal parts brandy and syrup, then just that piteous dribble of, “Picard,” bitters (Kirk bitters are better), all left to water down while he uses an unnecessary amount of that, “absininthe,” to coat a martini glass before tossing most of it away. (I was half afraid that he would leave it all in the drink)

    Given how much sugar water he seems to use, I think that this guy might not actually like alcohol.

  • Wow. I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time! I wonder if he’s abstaining from abstinenthe. And why would you purchase simple syrup?

  • The Newark Bartender says:

    You know its a lost cause when the strainer is fighting you.

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