Okay, look. I’m going to preface this by saying that I’m trying to be a kinder, gentler version of myself. You’ve seen me tear apart other bartenders here and here for teaching people how to make shitty drinks. Because it genuinely offends me to see people irresponsibly teach others when it’s so, so easy to make a good drink instead of a bad one.
Reader Michael sent along this video recently, and rather than just make fun of it, I thought I’d try something new and provide some helpful advice.
So yeah, it’s pretty terrible. But let’s break down why:
- An ounce of gin is just not enough. That makes for a really weak drink. Think of it this way: If a normal cocktail is between an ounce and a half (45 ml) and two ounces (60 ml), then that drink is 25-50% too weak.
- A half ounce of lemon juice is okay, but it certainly only works if you’re using a tiny amount of gin. Otherwise it’s just not enough. More gin + more lemon juice = more flavor.
- Speaking of lemon juice – it’s not that hard to get some juice out of a lemon. So why bother with pre-squeezed, pasteurized, shelf-stable lemon juice from the grocery store?
- A whole ounce of simple syrup makes for an incredibly sweet drink, especially when you set it up against a mere tablespoon of lemon juice. This drink is wildly out of balance.
- Six ounces or whatever that was of soda water. So now you’ve got a pint glass full of barely any gin, a shit ton of soda, and a shit ton of sugar with a splash of lemon juice.
- Reusing the ice you just shook the cocktail with (this is commonly called a “pump and dump”) is for nightclubs. Not cocktail bars. We shake with ice, and then strain over fresh, cold ice. It makes for a much fresher, colder cocktail.
- Could you please measure? Your free pouring is terrible. I’m all for free pouring if you know what you’re doing, but in this case she does not.
- Also the opening logo makes this look like a porno. Okay, I’m done, sorry.
I’ve written a couple of articles about how to properly make a Tom Collins over the years, so check them out.
Here’s one I wrote for Playboy Magazine back in 2014.
And here’s one I wrote for Food Republic in 2015.